An update to My Motivation

I recently read My Motivation. A blog post I wrote on October 16, 2017. That was seven years ago. I distinctly remember the night I wrote that post. I was sitting in my freezing cold bedroom in San Francisco, in between episodes of Berserk.

For a refresher, this was what I wrote:

“What is your biggest fear?”
My biggest fear is being comfortable. I view my biggest failure as the moment when I stop being ambitious, start relaxing, and start being comfortable.

“Why do you want to be successful?”
Because I want to work with amazing coders so I can become ever better. I want to be able to make my code beautiful to read.

“What does success mean to you?”
Working with the best and being the best coder in the world. I want to be able to write the best code in the whole world.

“Where does your motivation come from?”
I love coding. My motivation is the way, not the destination.

I used to think that my motivation was creating a startup, winning a hackathon, etc etc. But I realized those were just creative applications of coding. When looking at what were my least favorite things about starting a startup — they were all the things that had nothing to do with coding. The same goes for hackathons.

Writing code gives me unlimited powers under my fingertips.

As I read this, I realized how much this old man has changed.

In high school, after school, I'd go to my local YMCA. There, I'd do laps in the pool until I got tired. I'd always try to race a guy in the other lane. His movements seemed slow, and intentional. He never splashed, and it felt like he was gliding in the water. No matter what I did, I could never beat him. If I sprinted, I would only barely keep up with him. And it seemed like he could go for hours without getting tired.

Whenever I face a really tough challenge, I always think back to that dude. And I channel that unrelenting constant slow push. Success is the byproduct of that. My biggest fear is that I stop being like him.